


Please

by AlmostSuperWhoFan



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Gen, Headcanon, Lots of Angst, My First Fanfic, So much angst, Vessels, finally getting the show on the road, gadreel - Freeform, hurt!gadreel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-06
Updated: 2014-10-23
Packaged: 2018-02-03 17:27:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1752821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlmostSuperWhoFan/pseuds/AlmostSuperWhoFan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Broken and dying, Gadreel searches for a vessel after the fall. His only wish now is to find a way to redeem himself and rejoin his brothers and sisters in the heavenly host. Hopefully, with the help of new faces, he will find the forgiveness he craves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic ever so any and all feedback would be so helpful. I'm a bit obsessed with Gadreel right now and hope to knock out a few more ficlets. 
> 
> Enjoy!!

“Please.” Gadreel tried to whisper this plea. 

He had cried out for help not long after falling. He had seen the light from the building from a long distance away. It was like a beacon in the night and he’d made his way slowly to the source. He dared not float too far from the ground making the journey a grueling one. He needed help but his fear of retribution kept him cautious. 

When he finally approached the light, he could see several humans moving in and around the building and between metal boxes with wheels. He waited in the shadows until each box had roared to life and moved away carrying the humans in their bellies. So much had changed in the millennia since he’s last seen Earth. Wheels. Were these the newest editions to the wagon he’d watched the young creations pull through the garden? He was so confused and frightened now that thunder was rolling through the sky. 

He called out to the single human left in the building. He could see the older human through the large windows set into the wall. He was man who moved around the space with a stooped back and a few strands white hair floating around his head. When Gadreel called out, his voice exploded the windows and caused the human to double over and covered his ears in pain. He almost wept with regret. He was meant to protect not to harm. As much as he needed help, would not repeat that mistake.

He was whispering now as he moved between buildings in what seemed to be a small town surrounded by a wall and gate. There were many of the metal boxes lining the dark road but he maneuvered close to the building. He did not want to be near if they sprung from their slumber. 

He was so tired now. Thaddeus had pressed hard not long before he found himself falling so he pain was not only from his damaged wings. He settled beneath a flight of stairs and gave what humans would call a whimper. Even that sound rattled the windows but he was so desperate for help. Abner had told him about vessels; how certain humans would be able to sustain an angel. He missed Abner so much more in this moment. He missed his stories of human innovation and he was sure that Abner would be proud at the advances he was witnessing now; even if he did not understand them himself just yet.

“Help please.” He whispered again but it was a defeated sound. He was fading now. He dimmed his grace to conserve his energy and thought back to the garden. He conjured up the image that had sustained him for so long – the bright green grass that covered ever open space, the millions of fruit trees that sprinkled the green with reds, yellows, browns and the river that fed the garden its deep blue water. If he was going to die, at least he got to see the precious Earth once more. Gadreel made himself accept this end. He would rest. He would wait.

“Hello!” a voice called. “Do you need help?”

Gadreel almost wept again when heard it, heard him. The man could understand Gadreel’s speech so he must be a vessel! But not just a vessel – his vessel. The man was so very tall and looked strong. He glanced around the open hall looking for the source of Gadreel’s voice. “I’ll help you. Where are you?”

At this, he brightened his grace as much as he was able and called quietly to him. “I am here.” 

The man spotted his light and came his way but stopped abruptly before Gadreel’s glowing form. He knelt to squeeze himself under the stairs. His eyes were wide with awe but not fear. They were tired but kind. They were the eyes of a man that had seen much and regretted much. They were eyes that would look like his own, Gadreel imagined, if he had eyes.

“What are you?” the man with the kind eyes asked. He was whispering too as if afraid too much noise would scare Gadreel’s glowing form away.

Gadreel let his grace move forward and envelope him. Stumbling back into the hall, the man tried to take a deep breath to quell the panic rising in his chest. Gadreel filled him with as much of himself as he could. He was too tired to speak now and tried to convey his need to the man through his wounded grace. The man asked questions and Gadreel was forced to answer silently.

“You’re an angel? A-a soldier?”  
“Oh my god, you’re really hurt! Are you dying?”  
“You need what?”  
”I … I … “  
“No wait! Don’t go. I didn’t say no.”  
"I just… just..."

Silence filled the hall for several moments as the man stood up and stilled with Gadreel’s grace swirling around him. The soft blue light dimmed a bit as Gadreel’s energy started to seep away again. He so wanted to rest but would wait for the man to decide. As the seconds stretched into minutes, those kind eyes filled suddenly with tears and a wave of empathy washed over the angel’s grace. The man whispered the thing that Gadreel had been so desperate to hear.  
“Yes.”


	2. OK

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gadreel finds his vessel is almost ask broken as he is. Perhaps they can help each other. note: this is my personal headcanon. 
> 
> Bring a big box of tissues and enjoy.

He sat facing an unopened bottle of whiskey, a glass of half melted ice and a gun. This was Joe’s routine for sleepless nights since he got home. The support group was helping. Working at the bar was helping. But, once the nightmares woke him up, there was no more help. Tonight, his routine was altered.

Although his was the only body in the room, Joe was not alone. The whimper he’d heard, the muffled plea for help that pulled him into the hall, belonged to the most amazing creature he’d ever dreamed possible. When first he heard the sound, he tried to ignore it. Although Afghanistan left his body whole, his mind was cracked. Surely the mournful cry was in his head and not from a real person. Surely it was a residual sound from his nightmare spilling over into reality to remind him of his failures. He was helpless now. How would be able to help another? But Joe could feel the voice as much as he could hear it. The first hissed whisper felt like tendrils along his neck. The sorrow of the whimper soaked into his skin in pulsing waves. He had to find the source. It was the source that sat with him now.

It was the source that sat _inside_ him now. Through shared eyes, Joe and his angel regarded the unopened bottle and the gun and held a silent discussion.

**I have sifted briefly through your memory. I see that you suffer from your time as a soldier.**

_It looks like you do too, buddy.._

**I do suffer. But I grieve for you, my vessel; for your pain. And yet you chose to help me. I am grateful. Perhaps I may help you as well.**

_Look, I’m not even sure how this is happening. I’m probably going to wake up from this dream but, let me tell you, not having a nightmare is help enough._

Gadreel let his gratitude wash through Joe as he reassured the man again that this was indeed real. His grace felt so at home in this flesh. Master Sgt. Joseph Pickett was a single man born to a single mother. She raised him to be tough but fair. He took to military life easily and he wanted to make the world a better place. For years, he thought he was making it a better place.

Then the man had spent years in the area Gadreel remember to be near The Garden. This place was no longer the peaceful paradise he knew. Joe’s memories of this place were filled with confusion, fear and exhaustion. It was watching that boy die that left him broken now. It was a memory that filled Joe with as much sorrow as Gadreel’s memories of Heaven’s prison filled him. Joe also sought forgiveness for his perceived transgression. He felt responsible for the anguish of so many because of that day. How fitting, Gadreel thought, that my vessel is as heavy-hearted as I am.

**I will help you, Joe. Sleep now and let me heal you as I heal myself. Let me repay your kindness with my own.**

In his mind, Joe let the light from Gadreel’s grace lead him back across the desert. He had seen so many boys and families destroyed but none hurt as much as that one. They walked together into the village and Joe recognized small homes and the well in the middle. He watched kids chasing each other while burqa clad women laughed from open doorways.

Gadreel could sense the panic rising in Joe as the boy, that boy, ran past him again with the others. Joe turned a circle and reached for his sidearm. His pajamas instantly replaced with fatigues and body armor.

_They’re coming!_

**No one is coming.**

_I can stop it this time. I can…_

**There is nothing to stop, Joe. Look at them.**

Joe scanned the horizon for the men, the group that was waiting for him here. He didn’t know they were with him the first time. He didn’t suspect his personal goodwill mission was going to bring Hell down on this village.

_I just wanted to help him. Help them._

**You can.**

Joe looked down at his hands, holding his sidearm a moment ago, now holding the box. He was bringing a box of clothes and food to the boy and his family. Wafa was the boy he’d caught trying to pickpocket him three months into his last tour. He was skinny, as most of these kids are, and tried to run when caught. He fought like a tiger but adult hands were too much for childish fists. That’s how it started; Joe fed and spoke to the boy about the evils of pickpocketing and offered him a job instead. It had helped other kids in other countries and Wafa would be another statistic stopped in its tracks.

Wafa cleaned his boots and those of his unit and was paid in supplies. It was a mutually beneficial arrangement for all involved. Wafa’s uncles did not agree.

Joe paced another circle and waited, gun once again at the ready, senses keen with anticipation. He waited for the firing to start and the yelling to start and the chaos to start. He waited for the children to scatter and Wafa to run to him and for the boy’s mother to scream. He waited for the insurgents to punish this village for his kindness.

But it never happened.

“Sergeant!” Wafa called out to him as if he’d only just noticed Joe standing there. “My payment!” The boy laughed out loud and the sound bounced off the little houses. Joe holstered his weapon and bent down to hug the running boy.

“Yes,” he answered, tears in his eyes now. “I brought your payday.” He ran his hands over the boy checking for injuries; checking for… he didn’t know what other than to make sure this was real. This was real enough.

“Mama says you can stay for dinner,” Wafa whispered to him. “The elders said it was OK.” It was then that Joe realized what Gadreel was offering him. This would be his place of peace; his sanctuary while Gadreel healed himself.

“Ok,” Joe replied, both to Wafa and to the angel. Gadreel felt pride fill him for the first time in centuries as Joe grabbed Wafa’s hand, box in tow, and headed to the boy’s house. “I’m starved. Let’s eat.”

With Joe tucked safely away, Gadreel thought of his own need for safety. He took full control of his new body and laid himself across the couch. He needed to search this memory for a daily routine so he could emulate it. He needed to blend as he healed and hiding in plain sight, a terrifying prospect as it was, seemed wiser than letting his vessel disappear. He’d learned enough in his few moments in this skin to realize that people would look for this face. For now he would keep to Joe’s schedule and learn the humans around him. If he took his vessel away from this place, he would leave unsuspectedly and with reason given to the others. He would not stay long but he would stay for now.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally moving the story along. I hope you enjoy my two OC's.

Gadreel found his head bouncing along with the music pumping from the jukebox. He wiped the bar and refilled a soda for the man on to his right. It took most of yesterday morning for Gadreel to sort through enough of Joe’s memories to understand his schedule, his workload and the general ins and outs of the new world around him. He would work out the details on his own.

He found that he liked the simplicity of manual labor and customer service. He liked the way his vessel’s muscles worked when he moved cases of alcohol from the stock room. Although most customers asked for beer or a simple mixed drink, making the elaborate cocktail felt like casting a spell; measuring out just the right amount of each ingredient, and then stir, shake or blend and finally pouring the concoction into its own special glass. The blender was not his favorite tool.

He learned that the servers on this Sunday afternoon shift were Tommy, Connie, Abbie and Jessica. Bill was the line cook and he hated special orders. Charlie owned this particular sports bar and he liked that Joe drew in the ladies on Friday nights. After spending time in front of the bathroom mirror, Gadreel could understand why. This vessel was very tall and broad in the shoulders. His face had a strong jawline, an easy smile and those eyes. Gadreel decided that he liked his new face.

Connie stepped up to the server entrance and called an order for table four – twenty hot wings, one large fry basket and a kiddie burger. She winked at Gadreel, filled two hard plastic cups with a Coke and a Diet and a kid’s cup with juice.

“The kid already threw her fork at me,” she leaned in and whispered. “If I ‘accidentally’ spill a soda on her mom, do you think Charlie will give me and extra day off?” She stared at him expectantly and waited for his snide comeback. She did this a lot, Gadreel found, but he wasn’t sure how to reply.

“I believe the mother would consider that a mild retribution,” Gadreel replied, hoping it would suffice. Confusion crossed her face for a moment but settled into a smile before she lifted her tray.

”Working those SAT words, huh Joe?” she tossed at him and headed back to the floor. Relieved he leaned back against the counter and folded his arms across his chest. She was gone for now and, with the few customers sitting at the bar, he had no call to socialize just yet.

He let his eyes linger at each table in the dining area and smiled at the humans taking their leisure. Groups of men alternately cheered and booed at the television screens as the players crushed each other in defense of a ‘pigskin.’ Mothers wiped faces of squirming children and shared kisses with game enthused husbands. They had come such a long way from the Garden and, although he would be stupid to think they were still as innocent as those creatures had been, Gadreel was proud of humanity.

He felt Charlie sidle up to him and found he agreed when it was suggested that he ‘take a break before the next game starts.’ Gadreel realized that he could use the rest. The wounds Thaddeus had inflicted were easily healed now that he was free but the pain from his wings was a dull but constant throb. The prospect of sitting down suddenly beckoned sweetly.

He wiped his brow as he stepped out the back door and into the sunlight. He’d forgotten the caress of warm sun and feeling it on human skin was surreal. It hadn’t been this bright or hot when he first arrived and he drank in the sensation as it spread across his face and neck rolling down his arms to his fingertips. He turned his palms up to the sky and smiled as the heat spilled across his palm and between his fingers like water. He sat down on an overturned milk crate and leaned back against the building soaking up the midafternoon sun.

It was then that he noticed Connie watching him from the doorway. His private moment interrupted, he sat bolt upright and felt tension tighten his back. He forced a smile in her direction but did not make another effort to greet her.

“Are you ok?” she asked, letting the door rest quietly against the doorstop. Gadreel skimmed Joe’s memory for Connie, for any indication of a relationship between them, familial or carnal either way, but found none. Perhaps Joe hadn’t noticed or hadn’t cared to notice. Perhaps he was afraid to notice. His memory showed that they had worked a total of four shifts together, all on Sundays and all with the same banter she exhibited today. Was she always this friendly? Would Joe object if he sent her way? Would Joe object if he didn’t send her away?

“I’m fine,” he lied. “It’s been a long… weekend,” he took a breath when he paused, searching for the right word. He leaned a bit away as she sat on the milk crate next to him and took a swig from her soda bottle. She was not leaving, he realized and waited for her to speak again.

“When did you get here?” she broke the silence but didn’t look his way.

“I got here,” he imitated her wording, “near ten thirty to open the bar. I saw you arrive as I did.” He smiled awkwardly at her and rubbed his hands against his thighs. It was human gesture he’d seen inside and liked.

“I mean _here,_ ” she drew the word out to weigh it down and stared at Gadreel expectantly again. He furrowed his brow and gave her a questioning look.

“Near ten thirty to open the bar,” he replied again, slower in case she hadn’t heard him. She drew her mouth to one side as if thinking very deeply before she spoke again.

“Do you remember two nights ago? A meteor shower like the world has never seen rains down on us and no one knows where it came from? Well, my dad, the preacher, he goes out when he hears a crash in our yard. I think he thought he’d find a rock from Mars or something. He was so excited,” she chuckled here but continued. “Anyway, he comes back not five minutes later a completely different person. I guess something like that can really change a man.”

She turned her whole body to him now and leaned in to study his eyes. Gadreel studied her back. Her big eyes seemed filled with hopeful expectation and she was just barely holding back a smile. Did she know what had really fallen from the sky that night? Was she guessing at his true nature? In those few moments, he weighed the consequence of the truth against his need for self-preservation. There was no guarantee of acceptance so self-preservation won the contest easily. It did not feel like a victory.

“Once in a lifetime event,” he mimicked. “Man can live his whole life and not see something like that. I suppose it will change a man.” His recited words were drawn from the old man across the hall from Joe’s apartment. He seemed so eager to speak and Gadreel intended to do so when he returned this evening. He was suddenly afraid to go back as paranoia crawled through his vessel.

Connie’s face fell for a moment before she jumped up from her crate and whipped out her phone. “Anyway, I better call the old man,” she eyed him conspiratorially. “He just hasn’t been himself the last few days, ya know?” She smiled at him again and disappeared back through the door.

Gadreel jumped up from his crate and took the few steps to the door in silence. He listened at the gap as she press a few buttons on her phone and waited. He heard the smile in her voice as he listened to the one-sided conversation.

“Hi!”

“Are you doing ok? You figured out the remote, right?”

Laughter, “You will not throw the TV out the window. It does not hate you. I’ll fix it when I get home.”

“Around six thirty. I get off at six.”

Spoken in a hush now, “I think I found another one?” Gadreel tensed again and leaned closer.

“He’s hiding I think but he seems really nice.”

“I tried but he didn’t budge. I’ll try again in a little bit.”

It was here in the conversation that Gadreel stopped moving. When he heard the woman utter the name he froze. It was a name he had not heard in many centuries but cherished almost as much as that of his father. It was the name of the only angel that stood with him in heaven. Netzach.

“Netzach, I promise I’ll be careful. I’ll call again when I leave. Bye.”

He pressed himself against the wall of the building again but this time with relief. There was hope. There was a benevolent angel just within reach and all he had to do was make known his presence. Gadreel imitated another human gesture he found he liked. He ran his hand down his face and wiped his doubt away.


End file.
